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Things you shouldn’t say to a midget hooker:

1) When  it comes time to pay, “Sorry, I’m a bit short.”

2) “I’m feeling a little randy, woman.”

 3) [Any more suggestions?]

hot-midget.jpg

PS. The one thing you don’t want a midget hooker to say to you:

1) “Is it in yet?”

bloodynews.jpg

There’s nothing quite like an enormous chair to remind people of your great power. But remember: with enormous chairs comes great responsibility. Or something like that.

big-chair.jpg

flightless-bird.jpg

They don’t all sing and dance, you know.

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Far too much beer, not nearly enough sleep last night and today spent vegetating in front of the box have all combined to leave me sorta… kinda… ummmm… you know… what’s that word… oh yeah… slow. So no mucking about, here’s the cartoon.

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I think we all saw through the “someone get this walking carpet out of my way!” act Leia was putting on. It was plainly obvious to all that she lusted after the big hairball. And I’m guessing that Chewie would’ve caved to his baser instincts, and with a howl of passion, taken her from behind, Wookiee Style.

baby-chewie.jpg

bullfight1.jpgI know it’s not very nice, but I always grin like a son-of-a-bitch when the bullfighter gets pummeled by the bull. :)

I drew this because I was feeling particularly disillusioned with the corporate world. It’s all bollocks, really. We should be skipping happily through flower-filled meadows, not mouldering in an office with air-conditioning slowly drying  our skin. We should be chasing butterflies, not hunting heads. And forget the fucking brandscape… the landscape is much prettier.

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I do words for money. Or tinned food.

Hey, did you know I'm also a freelance advertising writer? Check out my business website here.
www.professionalwordguy.com.au

Goddamn Twitter!

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